When I first started blogging, it was because an editor of a local publication asked me to do so. I wrote about things like the new bar that opened in Downtown Indianapolis and what I did over the weekend. I don’t even think I was paid in the very beginning but that’s not why I did it. I did it because it was fun.
Eventually I was compensated something minimal but that still wasn’t why I enjoyed it. I was growing a small audience and I loved interacting with readers. I liked having a place where I felt like people wanted to hear what I had to say and as a very young twenty-something, what more could I ask for?
When the publication was bought out and the blog function disappeared, I decided to start my own blog here because honestly, I wasn’t doing much else.
Then the internet sucked me in. I began concerning myself with things like themes and links and about pages and advertisers. I spent way too much time comparing what I was doing to what other bloggers were doing. I wanted Gala Darling’s strong voice and What I Wore’s organization. I wanted Moosh in Indy’s mad photography skills, Design for Mankind’s sweetness and Cupcakes and Cashmere’s aesthetic.
I didn’t know the difference between envy and admiration.
I think if I had actually worked hard enough to execute what each of those lovely ladies do so well all at once, I would have thrown up all over myself. Because the thing is I’m only slightly organized and definitely not that sweet. I’ve only just got a glimpse at who I really am enough to know my own voice.  I don’t have the patience to put together beautiful little vignettes and for the love of God, why is photography so confusing to me? No blog and no human is that perfect.
So where did that leave me? Did I want to write about style or cooking? What I did last night or the book I’m currently reading? I became stricken with analysis paralysis and then I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I hinted on Twitter to the fact that I was ready to take an extended blogging vacation and my friend Kate told me that she had gone through a similar evolution with her blog, Embarrassment of Riches. Kate’s blog is one of my favorites to visit, not just because she has beautiful photos and I love her writing but she is genuinely my kind of girl. When we met in New York, I felt an instant friendship. Even if we don’t speak often, and even if her last post was in May, I don’t mind. I’m just happy to be able to visit her world once in a while.
But what I really respect is that she no longer writes to satisfy other people. Her content is free of advertisements and affiliate links, which is not to say that I mind those things or that I’m against them but it proves she’s truly there for no other reason than the fact that she wants to be, when she wants to be.
A few weeks ago at dinner I was telling my friend Petra how I wasn’t sure about the direction I wanted to take this blog. I’m all over the place. Maybe there is no point in doing it if I’m not going to stick to one thing, I said. She sat there patiently and listened while I ranted as she always does and then said this.
“Be the Michael Jordan.”
I’m sorry?
“Michael Jordan. He was awesome at basketball but then did a million other things that he was just okay at, because he wanted to.”
Now, I don’t know what my basketball is yet metaphorically speaking but for now, I’m just going to have fun here while I figure it out. I’d love if you join me on the journey.