After arriving home from LA on Tuesday night, I found myself laying in bed wide awake. Turns out, it takes my body five days to adjust to the Pacific Time Zone and wouldn’t you know it, this was the fifth day. I turned the light on and tried reading for a bit. No go. I turned the light off and tried to force myself to sleep. Nothing. Suddenly, a thought came to mind. I would simply taking a sleeping pill.

I got out of bed and went straight for my guest bathroom where I keep my medical supply box. Searching for something labeled “PM” I got distracted by an open packet of bright yellow tablets. I vaguely recalled purchasing said tablets years ago from Target and suspiciously scanned the back for an expiration date and found it was 8/2007. Assuming they would just be less potent, I popped one down the hatch and went back to bed.

Yellow Pills

Notice the BRIGHT YELLOW color?

15 minutes later my legs started feeling restless. My mind began racing. Something was definitely wrong.

How could I be wide awake after taking a sleeping pill? Doesn’t make sense.

When did I buy them? Must have been 4 years ago, at least.

Why? Road trip with a boyfriend.

Why would I take a – and then it hit me.


I flew out of bed and ran back to the bathroom. I tore open the box and turned the tablets over to see this:

Alterness Aid Tablets


I took an alertness aid. You think SHIT is a dirty word? Imagine what came out of my mouth after that.