The Adventures of Lesalina

A Semi-Charmed Life.

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Favorite Finds Friday: Super Bowl XLVI

January 27th, 2012 · style

There are officially nine days left before Super Bowl 46. While calling me a football fan is like calling Eli Manning the next great American writer, I can’t help but get excited about the game – especially considering the whole cluster*&$! is practically taking place in my back yard. Just as it would be unfair of a sports fan to assume that I strut around in Manolo Blahniks all day, it would be unfair of me assume that all sports fans wear nothing but NFL Licensed t-shirts.

::awkward pause::

I decided to play my own game and see what finds I could come up with to show off team pride in style. As much as I  like a nice vintage-wash sports tee, I think there are plenty of other tasteful ways to display a little team spirit without going overboard. Unless that’s your thing, then by all means please, break out the body paint. It makes for good TV.

Here are my favorite finds for Super Bowl XLVI, just in time for you to get out there and pull together your game day outfit!

::slaps your butt in an entirely sports friendly way::

1. NFL Baby Set (Orig. $17.98, SALE $9.99)
2. NFL Two-Pack Team Colored Nail Polish ($12.99)
3. Hunter Women’s Original Classic Glossy Rain Boots ($125)
4. NARS Pure Matte Lipstick in Vesuvio ($25)
5. NFL Celebrate the Game T-Shirt ($23.99)

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Me and My First World Problems Problem

January 25th, 2012 · satire, technology

If you’re not on Twitter, don’t stop reading.

“Stop? I just started”, you say.

I know but for a minute you might not care about what I’m saying but then it gets good so just stay with me, okay?

Good. We can get on with the post now.

On Twitter (as well as other social media sites but this predominately occurs on Twitter) there are waves of phrases that people use over and over again until it becomes so saturated that they subconsciously search for something new. Once they find another phrase or style or word that strikes their fancy, the cycle begins again. I first noticed it when people started writing notes to inanimate objects and thin air. Example: Dear computer, please stop being a jerk because my deadline is in an hour. Thanks! Love, Leslie

There are two more phrases that have caught on that really make my skin crawl and I’d like to draw your attention to them.

Non-tweeters, are you still with me? We’re almost there.

The next one is when people begin a sentence with, “That awkward moment when….” then proceed to explain the awkward moment which usually doesn’t sound that awkward anyway. I guess you had to be there. However, if it were glaringly obvious the moment was awkward, you wouldn’t need to identify it as such. So let’s go ahead and phase this one out as well, shall we?

The phrase that I’d really like to discuss today is one that goes beyond tweets that ruffle my conversationally perfect little feathers. It’s the ‘First world problems’ phenomenon. Urban Dictionary defines this as: Problems from living in a wealthy, industrialized nation that third worlders would probably roll their eyes at.

{Photo: jessegresham}

Here’s how it usually goes on Twitter. To be fair, I’ll use something similar to a sentence that I’ve actually tweeted. Just so y’all don’t have to fight the urge to search my entire internet presence to prove a point. Trust me, I know where I stand.

“How will I ever eat this juicy grapefruit without a  grapefruit spoon?”

To which one of my followers replied, “First World Problems”.

Let me first clarify that I’m fully capable of eating grapefruit without a grapefruit spoon but I don’t care what you say, it’s much easier with the serrated edges. It was a joke. But I’ve noticed that now when one says something that they’re aware is quite trivial ‘in the grand scheme of things’ they follow it with the phrase (or hashtag) “First World Problems”, as if were a disclaimer. Like saying, “I’m aware that this comment is absurd so I’ll throw ‘First World Problems’ after it so that no one thinks I”m a terrible person” OR they just think that it’s a catchy phrase. It’s not.

I don’t believe that problems are confined to ‘worlds’. That bourgie “you-know-what” may actually believe that her lap dog’s stylist cancelling at the last minute is the end of the world. A starving child in a country that she can’t find on a map might feel differently. But he’ll probably never know for sure. I am absolutely, positively, completely guilty of losing perspective from time to time. But this isn’t a defense, nor is it an attack. It’s a suggestion that perhaps we might all just stop and think before we speak and make sure we’re doing what we can do to be aware, compassionate human beings (and a little less annoying on the internet).

My final thoughts on the matter are this. Announcing something as a “First World Problem” isn’t funny and it doesn’t serve any purpose. It’s entirely inappropriate to judge the difficulty or intensity of someone else’s problem or their perception of what a problem is.

If you’re calling yourself out, that means you’re already aware. If you finish that sentence, or allow that feeling to come in, then you’re accepting it’s truth. If you feel strongly enough to voice that concern out into the world, don’t apologize for it.

But if you don’t want to have a “First World Problem”, try not having a problem at all.

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Funny Business (cards)

January 23rd, 2012 · creative, Sponsored

I like business cards – always have.

It’s fascinating to me that you can learn so much about a person just by looking at a small piece of card stock. Is it cluttered with information or minimal? Does their title state something very impressive and serious or did they call themselves a Grand Poobah? Were they done on a free-site to stay within a budget or metal and cost a small fortune? THERE’S JUST SO MUCH TO CONSIDER.

Once when I was little, my dad’s secretary ordered me cards that said ‘Leslie Bailey, Daughter of Roger Bailey’. I thought they were the greatest things in the world. Of course, I had no one to give them to but I felt incredibly important. I mean, think about it…your identity at the age of six doesn’t feel like it will ever measure up that of an adult. But when it’s in writing? On something so official? Well, now you’re someone special.

While most people today prefer to keep their contacts on computers and in iPhones, I save every business card I receive. I’m not ashamed to tell you that I went to the office supply store and bought an organizer to keep them in either. Or that I use it all of the time. Or even that I have favorite cards that I like to look at every so often.  You get the point  - I’m a nerd.

When the lovely people over at Zazzle.com offered me the opportunity to create my own custom art, I had half-a-mind to put my cats’ faces on a stamp. But let’s be honest, I don’t need to wave my nerd flag *that* high. The other half of my mind wanted to make Beau a tie with my face on it. Lucky for him, he doesn’t wear ties. So in the end I settled on business cards.

But what to put on a business card when you’re a freelance writer that can’t take herself seriously for more than the first 62 seconds of meeting someone? Something that makes you giggle so hard you snort, that’s what.

See what I did there?

::waves nerd flag higher and snorts::

I know that some people won’t get it and others won’t appreciate the beauty of a well-crafted business card  (Seriously you guys, they’re a beautiful 110lb  ultra white card stock with a Dirty Dancing joke, it’s practically porn) but I’m proud. I’m proud to be Leslie Bailey, Daughter of Roger Bailey, Freelance Writer, Collector of Business Cards, Lover of Cats.

It’s nice to meet you.  

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Favorite Finds Friday: Drugstore Beauty Buys

January 20th, 2012 · beauty

If your New Year’s resolution involved implementing a better beauty care routine while simultaneously making an effort to spend less money – you have an idea of how frustrating this dichotomy can be. Between you, me and the plastic surgeon? I’ve been pondering the thought of a little injection here and there. Mostly just THERE ::points to forehead::

But in reality? I’m not ready and I’m not sure I ever will be. I’ve also come to terms with something else….gentlemen, you might want to skip this next paragraph – I’m officially the girl who regularly removes hair from her upper lip. 1/3 of you who say you don’t are lying, the other 1/3 probably should and the rest of you need to try Olay’s new product. It’s AMAZING. Pricer than Nair but worth every penny. No stinging, redness or other uncomfortable side effects (unless of course you count your boyfriend catching you do it but thankfully Beau and I have already covered that ground).

The rest of the products are tried and true drugstore beauty finds that I’ve been using for years. Yes, this coming from the girl who used to spend $30 a pop on mascara – L’Oreal Volumnous is just as good. Thanks to the makeup artist from years ago that gifted me a tube, whoever you are, I’ve been hooked since.

Well ladies, I’m off to give myself a DIY mani/pedi and take care of my upper lip, if you know what I mean. On that note, I bid you a very happy weekend, loverlies! Now get out there and make the world a more beautiful place. I recommend starting at Walgreen’s.

1. Cetaphil Face Wash ($11.49)
2. L’Oreal Collagen Moisture Filler Day/Night Cream ($9.19)
3. Jergen’s Natural Glow Revitalizing Daily Moisturizer ($6.55)
4. L’Oreal Paris Voluminous Full-Definition Mascara, Blackest Black ($5.99)
5. L’Oreal Paris Elnett Hairspray ($11 )
6. Olay Smooth Finish Facial Hair Removal Duo ($21.59)

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Savoring My Youth: A Boudoir Photo Shoot

January 16th, 2012 · beauty, creative, photo, style

A few months ago, I came across some photographs of my high school senior-year spring break trip to Cancun. As I reflected on horseback riding through the ocean with my girlfriends and bus rides singing ‘La Bamba’ on repeat – I couldn’t help but think, “Where did that girl go?” Not the one who went bungee jumping over the ocean after a booze-cruise, I’ve made peace with the fact that I’m no longer 18.  No, the girl I want to know again is the one with that tiny, flat waist. The toned thighs. GIVE HER BACK OR I WILL CUT YOU!

Ahem.

Clearly, my vanity had gotten the best of me.

When I was prompted a few weeks later by Meggie with the opportunity to schedule a boudoir photo shoot with the lovely Molly Connor, I knew that I should take it. I don’t plan on things going downhill from 27 but if I learned nothing else from looking at those photos, it’s that my youthful looks won’t stick around forever. So I scheduled the session.

When I mentioned my upcoming photo shoot, I was surprised by the number of girlfriends and internet lady-friends that expressed an interest. Some thought it would make a great gift for their husbands or boyfriends, while others thought it was just a nice thing to do for themselves. After completing the session, I’d recommend it for either.

Of course, I’ll speak candidly with you here when I say that it’s impossible to de-sexualize the experience. (HI, DAD! Awkward?) However, there’s also no doubt about the fact that women’s bodies are just beautiful, plain and simple. The difference is within the level that you decide to take it to. When searching for inspirational images across the internet, I came across a few that made me blush. I was thinking more along the lines of Vanity Fair than I was Hustler. In the end, I came up with a Pinterest board with pictures that I felt were both classy and alluring.

When it came to the day of the shoot, I felt less than prepared. Beau and I had just spent a week on vacation and my body? Well let’s just say it felt less than camera-ready. But I sucked it up (literally), drank a little champagne, put on some Micky Avalon and gave it my best. Molly recommended having both hair and makeup done on site, which I think is crucial for photo shoot satisfaction. Ladies, no matter how good we think we are at our own hair and makeup (unless you’re a professional) I suggest you leave it to them. It’s well worth the extra money.

While some women opt for nudity and suggestive shots, I went in a slightly different direction. Robes, tank tops and boy shorts topped my list of favorite looks. I found that I was more drawn to an over-sized white button up shirt more than a lace corset. I even gave pearls a whirl, although I came to the conclusion that despite a lovely photo or two, I am decidedly not  a pearl-wearing girl.

Molly was an absolute star. She was professional, creative, and calming. She cracked jokes (not about my cellulite) to put us both at ease and before I knew it, the hour and a half session was over. A week later, I had a disc full of photos that I plan to keep under lock and key forever. It’s near impossible not to criticize yourself in a situation like this. By the time I had looked at a handful of images, I was convinced I need liposuction, Botox, hair extensions and a bathtub full of Mederma (thanks for that, you jerk of a gallbladder).

BUT THEN MY JAW DROPPED.

There on my computer screen, was an (if I do say so myself) absolutely stunning photograph. A few slides over, another. A few more and another. Molly had executed a miracle. In the end, I had a dozen photographs that I was pretty damn proud of. As I said, the photos are staying under lock and key but I did pull a few aside that I feel comfortable sharing so that you can see the quality of her work.

While I’ll always treasure photos from my youth, I know that I’ll never have my high-school body back. And that’s okay because you know what? High-school me would eat her heart out for these.

All images by Molly Connor of Molly Connor Photography.

Please do not use them for any reason without permission…that means YOU, creeper.

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Lesalina’s Favorite Links

January 15th, 2012 · conversation

(Photo: freelanceaintfree.com)

Bonjour, kittens! I hope you’re all having a fantastic weekend – and hopefully a long one too.

I’ve spent a lot of time this weekend thinking, planning, educating, writing and overall organizing myself and my business for the year ahead. Here are some of my favorite links and happenings from the week. Let’s be serious, there was a little shopping in there too.

Really enjoyed this interview with Liberty London Girl on How to be a Successful Blogger with the Vine. I discovered her blog earlier this year whilst searching for a ‘fun things to do list’ one chilly afternoon alone in London, she’s now one of my regular reads. 

Gala Darling made a mention of this site where you can Build a Mission Statement with Franklin Covey. I printed mine and hung it where I will see it every day.

Loved reading this post by Three Pixie Lane, Barbra Striesand and Me - it reminded me of all the great experiences that can come from blogging.

I think I’ll start wearing this Freelance Ain’t Free t-shirt to meetings (and hang the bonus print poster in my office!). I smiled with my freelance designing friend Kris posted it on Twitter.

The whole thought of birthing children is always an iffy subject for me but this post by Moosh In Indy made sound all worth it. Also, congrats DesignHERMomma!

My new ‘Little Red Dress’ arrived from Asos – perfect for Valentine’s day.

Today marks the last day of a 10 day Advocare cleanse for me and I must-admit that even though I’m already sick of the “Shi*t_____say” videos, this one still cracked me up.

I became obsessed with Fab.com.

I’d love to hear what you’ve seen/tried/read/watched/done/bought/you-get-the-point lately. Please, share your favorite links from the week below!

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Favorite Finds Friday: Champagne Wishes

January 13th, 2012 · style

Champagne has a reputation for being a bougie drink, reserved for those who can afford to drink Dom Perignon like it’s water. This is not the case at all. There are plenty of champagnes and sparkling wines (the term champagne is reserved for sparkling from the region of Champagne, France) that are affordable and in my opinion, should not be reserved for holidays and special occasions. Why not enjoy a little luxury in the ‘every day’ world? Here my favorite champagne finds that will surely make you feel like a million bucks, regardless of what’s in your bank account. Although I don’t think we should ever stop striving for champagne wishes and caviar dreams…Happy Friday, loverlies! 

1. Voluspa Maison Noir Crisp Champagne Petite Diffuser ($28)
2. OPI ‘I Only Drink Champagne’ Nail Lacquer ($4.70)
3. Champagne Vinegar ($13)
4. Lanvin Spaghetti Silk Dress ($1,298)
5. LaRocca Champagne and Shimmer Acai Sugar Polish ($37.50)
6. Charbonnel et Walker Pink Marc de Champagne Truffles ($24)

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30: By, Before and Turning

January 10th, 2012 · relationships, satire, style

Like many other women across the globe, I’m still smitten with Kate Middleton (or Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, if you want to be proper about it). Yesterday, it was world wide news that the dear Duchess turned 30…which inevitably made me realize that in February, I’ll be two years shy. I’m not one of those people who has a bucket list, nor do I have a list of 30 things to do by the time I turn 30. As much as I enjoy lists, I can’t stand the pressure of having such major tasks to complete in such a finite amount of time. That’s the stuff anxiety is made of.

I do however believe that there are (at least) 30 things a woman should have already done and already know.  In 1997, Glamour magazine contributor Pamela Redmond Satran wrote the following article. As legend has it, over time the article became a popular chain email that was attributed as a poem by Maya Angelou. I came across it when Glamour republished the piece in 2005 and have saved it ever since. Rather than dance my ass off in Ibiza or jump out of a plane naked, I’m declaring this list my 30 by 30 goal.

By 30, you should have:

  1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
  2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
  3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
  4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
  5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
  6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
  7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.
  8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.
  9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
  10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
  11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
  12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
  13. The belief that you deserve it.
  14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
  15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.

By 30, you should know:

  1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
  2. How you feel about having kids.
  3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
  4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
  5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
  6. The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.
  7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
  8. How to take control of your own birthday.
  9. That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
  10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
  11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
  12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.
  13. Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
  14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
  15. Why they say life begins at 30.

Not 30 yet either? Or maybe you’re well beyond it and have some words of wisdom for us? Go on and share your 30 by 30 below!

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Tech: Instagram Lovers, Meet Hashgram

January 8th, 2012 · technology

Instagram lovers rejoice! No, not you Android owners…you still don’t have an app yet. The rest of you – rejoice!

If you’ve been waiting for a way to see all of your photos in one place online or an easy way to search tags, wait no longer. I present to you Hashgram, “a simple web-based search and sharing utility for Instagram”.

Want to see all of your photos? Simply search your username. You can see the date and time of posting as well as the number of Instagram likes or comments. You can see my Instagram photos on Hashgram here. I post most of them to my Tumblr as well, which you can follow here.

Or perhaps you’d like to search for a specific Instagram hashtag. I don’t know say…dirtymartini perhaps? It’s all there.

Pretty rad, no? I think so.

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2011

December 30th, 2011 · holiday

In 2011 I quit my job. I went to New York for the first time as an adult. I got in three car accidents in two weeks and I edited my first picture in Photoshop (not the one below that’s allllll real, baby).

Beau and I went to Mexico. I made the best chicken piccata ever. I got pink eye. I was featured in a magazine for the first time and I discovered cake balls.

I had my gallbladder removed. I judged a fashion show for pets of pride. I met Erin Loechner and discovered that I’m a Renaissance Soul. I cried in yoga for the second time. Metromix ceased publication and my very first column ended.

In 2011 I enjoyed my first full course dinner wine tasting. I started writing for Indianapolis Monthly and I completed a mini triathlon.

I wrote an open letter to Kenny Ortega (he never responded) and I met Meggie. I survived my first bachelorette party weekend. I attended my first blog conference and I met Susan. I watched in horror as the stage collapsed at the Indiana State Fair.

I took a flight in a Scotish Aviation Bulldog and I endured the great Missoni for Target debacle of ’11. I saw Elton John in concert (I’m still smiling) and I did a non-drinking cleanse. I bought a Clarisonic and I gave blood for the fist time.

In 2011 I said goodbye to a friend who moved away and I said goodbye to another as I watched his car crash at Las Vegas Motor Speedway (I’m still mourning). I was a bridesmaid for the first time.

I went to London and did some self-discovery on Portobello Road. I took photos and I gave myself permission to laugh, cry, and be the kind of writer, blogger, lover, friend, daughter, and sister that I want to be.

Beau and I took baby Beau to Chicago. I made Thanksgiving dinner. I watched Miracle on 34th Street and It’s a Wonderful Life for the first time. I watched Elf and Christmas Vacation for the thousandth.

In 2011 I will close out the year cruising the ocean and drinking champagne with Beau. I will think of my friends and family and cherished relationships. I will be thankful for what I have, sorry to those I hurt, and wish happiness for us all. I will make peace looking out on the water and throw any regrets to the sharks.

In 2011 I learned to look forward. Cheers to 2012.

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